Twenty-Five Years

Picture yourself back in time twenty-five years ago today. It was a saterday and a much warmer day than today is and sunny, with only a few clouds in the sky.

On that day, a young man and a young woman were united in holy matriomony at his parent's home. She wore her sister's wedding dress and a little lace maids cap, he wore a baby blue tuxedo (as was the fashion fo the day for some unkown reason). His best friend was the best man, her oldest sister was the Matron of Honor and they were surrounded by other friends and family.

After five and a half years together (though some of that time was actually spent apart), they were ready to make the biggest commitment they could. So, as their loved ones watched, they promised to love and cherish each other until death parted them.

It was a vow that they would keep. They had their share of ups and downs, but through it all they loved each other and they spent almst twenty-four years together as man and wife before his life was cut short tragically.

Of course, I'm talking about my parents. Today would have been their 25th wedding anniversery, if my father were still alive. Twenty-five years is a lot. Hell, my parents weren't much older than me then and I know I'm not remotely ready to get married. Not for about five or ten years.

Still, my parents always intended to make a big deal out of their 25th anniversary. My father wanted a huge party and at the time of his death fifteen months ago, we had already started talking about it.

I can't help, but think of what might have been. About how if he was still alive, Taela and I would have been putting up decorations and organizing things and how it would have taken place this past weekend. There would have been friends adn music and lots of fun. If only he were still here.

But he isn't and the milestone never occured. Still, it's weighing heavily on my mind what today would have been and I'm sure it's even harder on my mom. This is the anniversery of one of the happiest days of her life, yet the person who made it so happy isn't here to share it. I'm sure that makes it really hard.

So, I thought I'd be a good daughter and make her dinner tongiht. I mean, I don't want to make too big a deal out of it, but I thought I'd do somethng nice since she's probably feeling pretty sad. I know I am and it's not even my anniversary.

But for me, it's not the anniversary itself that's so hard, since we already had to face it last year. No, for me, the hard part is the ghosts of what might have been. I just can't stop thinking about it and it's so hard...

I Meant To Write Sooner...

I know I promsied to write abou tthe fishing party, but I jsut never got around to it. Oops. I've been tired and distracted lately. Lots on my mind.

Anyway, the fishing party was a lot of fun. I stayed until about 6 a.m and I had a really good time. A part of me wants to say it was the best fishing party ever, but another part of me thinks that's disloyal. How could it be the best when my father wasn't there?

Still, I did have a good time. Even if I didn't spend much time with Tonya who I went to the party with. I ended up spending a lot of the night talking to the girls who go to Jess'es every weekend. I'm getting to know them all pretty well now.

I actually spent a lot of time talking to Jenny, who I find myself really liking. I'm not sure how much she likes me, but I think she does. I hope she does. But you know me, totally self-guessing, so... Anyway, we have mutual loathing of a couple people, so we bonded over that.

I did take a ton of pictures. Which is good. Some really great shots too, I'll ahve to get those scanned. At least some of them. I'll probably skip the drunk shots of myself.

On a side note, Nick, a guy I went to elementary school with was at the party. I hadn't seen him in years and back then he was a total bully, but it turns out time did wonders for his personality and Nick turned into a really nice guy. Kinda boggles the mind, huh?

Anyway, all in all the fishing party was fun. I missed my father, of course. But there's never a day when I don't miss him, so that much was to be expected.

Now, let's see... What else? I've been having a couple guy issues. Nothing too serious, a few confused feelings. I thought I was handling something better than I really was. Oops. But, I'm dealing and I'll get over it. Sooner or later.

Lot's of weirdness going on right now. Relationships are complicated, especailly when they're over. I'm learning that one first hand.

Went to another party Saterday night. Had a good time. Drank a little too much and made typical Michelle mistakes, but all in all, nothing major.

I can't think of anything else of interest at this particular moment. I think I'm taking a break from the Castleton crowd. The regression is just a little too much for me. I'm turning back into the person I used to be.

The boycott from the Castleton probably won't last five years this time, though. I mean, now that I'm back, I have to admit, I like having them in my life. I'm just not sure they're the best thing for me. They tend to bring out some of the less attractive traits.

That's about it, for now. I'm sure there'll be more. There always is.

More Useless Knowledge

Yes, I'm doing another one of these stupid things. I'm sorry, since I'm sure you're sick of learning useless information about me, but I got this from my cousin, plus I'm bored, so....

Well, let's get on with it and see if there's anything that you didn't know about me by this point...

What is your...

1. What time did you get up today? About 12:30, which is early for me.

2. What time is it now? 4:04 a.m, which is why I normally get up about 2 p.m.

3. Age on your next birthday? 22, which for some reason seems really old.

4. Favorite breakfast food? I rarely eat breakfast, but french toast.

5. Most horrific experience? Losing my father.

6. Dream job? To be a published author.

7. Favorite piece of clothing? Hmm... My dad's button up shirt. It's green with red, yellow and blue lines making a sort of plaid pattern. Kinda hard to describe.

8. Favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit. I kick ass.

9. Most memorable experience? Dancing with my father to Ruby Tuesday live.

10. Favorite movie? "Gone with the Wind" or "Miracle".

11. What is your shoe size? 9

12. Living situation? I live at home in a three-bedroom house (well actually it has more than that if you count the half we rent out--but I don't), plus a basement which is currently being used as a bedroom with my mother and uncle.

13. Best feature? Physical? My legs, nice and long and fit. Personality wise? The fact that I'm a good listener.

14. Biggest fear? Losing someone I love.

15. Pet peeve? Don't know. Don't really think about it.

16. Favorite band? Probably the Rolling Stones.

17. Screen saver? A nice warm sandy beach, with beautiful blue water. God I wish I was there.

18.Hobby? Writing, painting, hanging out with my friends, talking on the phone.

19. Current occupation? I'm actually currently on leave from work. But normally I work at a call centre doing tech support.

20. Colour of your car? I don't drive, thus don't have a car, but my mother has green Neon.

21. Best thing about high school? The fact that I graduated and thus don't have to go back.

21. Symbol of your existence? Umm... Not sure how to answer this one...

22. Craziest thing you've ever done? Gotten in a car with any one of about half the guys I know? That's certainly taking my life in my own hands...

23. Desktop (wallpaper) on your computer? Blue wavy lines.

24. Colour of your undies? Pale pink. Big shocker, huh?

25. Best thing about college? Independance.

26.Shampoo you're currently using? Herbal Essence.

27. Are you single or taken? Single, because men suck.

28. Are you left-or-right handed? Right.

29. Are you in love? No and never have been.

30. If you had a million dollars? I'd go to Europe and just take in everything. Oh and I'd own a lot of shoes...

31. Could be anywhere...I'd be....? In London or Paris.

32. Have kids? No. Maybe in five years or so, but I'm a little young and a lot to single.

34. Have a computer? Well, duh. Though, some of my friends might argue on that point, since they don't appreciate the superior glory of my Mac. I actually have two, though the other one is really old and outdated.

take too long in snail mail lmao Yes I have 2 actually

35. Have curly or straight hair? Curly.

36. Have any hidden talents? I don't know. I'm pretty good at picking things up with my toes, though I'm not sure that counts as a talent...

37. Wear glasses? contacts? Yes, sicne I can see about five feet in front of me, maybe less, without them. I wear glasses usually, contacts if I'm going out.

38. Have siblings? No, I'm an only child. I've got three honary sisters and two honary brothers, though, who I grew up with, fought with and consider my siblings in everything but blood. I also consider their parents my second and third parents.

39. Smoke? Cigarettes? Rarely. Just once and a while at a party if I'm drunk..

40. Dress up for halloween? Definitely.

41. Bite your nails? Yes, it's a bad habit I've never been able to break.

42. Hit an animal while driving? No, thankfully.

43. Had your heart broken? No. Had it dented a couple times, but never broken.

44. Been arrested? Um, no. My mother would murder me.

45. Been to a circus? Years and years ago when I was a kid...

46. What do you do when you're bored? Write, watch TV, talk to my friends.

47.Who sent this to you? My cousin Lisa.

48. Can you write with your toes? No, just pick things up.

49. What is your favorite video game? Don't really play video games...

50. What time of the day do you like to make love? Don't currently have a sex life, but when I do I don't really care.

51. What is your full name? Michelle Elizabeth McKague

52. What time did you finish this ? 4:30 a.m.

Well, there you go. Even more stupid, pointless facts about me. Don't you feel privelleged?