Go Leafs Go!

Leafs won last night. 4-1, so I'm in a good mood today.

Had my first driving lesson. It's the first time I've been behind the wheel in a long time. I didn't do too badly. Though apparently I break a little too hard. Oops.

Mom's decided that we have to go see Les Miserables since Becky's doing stage crew. So, we're gonna go to that. Mom loves musicals and hates doing things by herself. Thus, why I'm going. Besides, Becks would kill me if I didn't.

- Michelle

Sleep Deprivation is Fun

Wow, I am really cranky when I get less than five hours sleep. Apparently, I've been a real bitch all day. I didn't get to sleep until about three last night and then I was up before eight because I needed to have a bath and stuff before work. This is why I shouldn't party when I have to work the next day.

The fishing party was last night, which is why I didn't get to sleep until way past by bed time. I stayed out until about two and then I was hyped, so I didn't get to sleep for another hower. Bright, huh?

I had a better time than I thought I would. It was fun. Not to say that there weren't some horrible moments, there were. Not just for me, for everyone. My father's absence left a big hole, I wasn't the only one that felt it.

He came up a lot. Which was hard. But, it would have been worse if no one had mentioned him, if people had treated it like he had never existed.

Still, apart from those few terrible moments, it was fun. It was a different party this year and not just because my father wasn't there. It's Jesse's house now and there were a lot of his friends there. The time's are a changin'.

I didn't want to go, very nearly didn't, but I'm glad I did. I think Daddy would have been glad too. I don't think he'd want me turning my back on the things we shared and this was a big deal for us. That's why I ended up going. For him.

Still, I paid the price for it this morning. I felt like crap. I need at least eight hours of sleep to be functional, more when I'm drinking, so I was really out of it today.

Not that it matters. Work was slow, as usual. I haven't worked a full day in forever. Which kind of sucks.

Went to see Evita last night at Campbellford High School. It was really good. I had a good time. It was fun. Mom enjoyed it too, which is good. She doesn't get out very much. I'm going to have to think of a way too change that...

Well, I'm gonna go since I'm seriously deprived of both food and sleep... I should go change that...

Two Months

Went to work. Stayed two hours. It's really, really slow right now. And really boring, I hope it picks up soon.

Got great news today at work--We're so slow that there's lots of extra vacation days open, which means I was able to book the weekend of Anime North off. It was all gone when I tried before. So, now I can go. Which is good. I think. It'll be fun. It always is.

Not much else is these days.

Taela and I aren't getting along. We're not exactly fighting, but... We have good periods and bad periods and I think we're getting into a bad period. It just means we need some space from each other. It happens every so often.

Still, I feel lonely. I don't really have anyone else around. It sucks. Maybe I need a hobby...

I'm so stressed. I feel like I'm going to snap. I need to get away. Badly.

My mother's driving me crazy. She's stressed and she's unhappy and she rotates between smothering me and snapping at me. I know why she's doing it, but... That doesn't mean I have to like it.

Today's the 21st. It's two months exactly it doesn't feel like it. I'm still as much of as a mess as I was two months ago. Maybe more, since I've had all this weighing on me for two months. I've also had a lot to think about and big decisions to make. I haven't even come close to making them yet. I know I have to, but... I guess I feel if I keep putting them off, they'll go away and my life will go back to normal. Wistful thinking, huh?

I just wish I could leave my entire life behind. The mess with Taela. Work. My mother. All this emotional baggage I'm carrying. I wish I could just get rid of it all. Run away to another life. But it doesn't work that way.

Still, I'm not gonna focus on that. I'm going to be happy that I can go to Anime North and think about the rest of it later. I'm going to make this a good day.

I can go to Anime North, Leafs won last night. This is a good day.

Nah, Nah, Nah, Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye

Leafs won last night.

They creamed Ottawa 4-1. Same old story in the battle of Ontario, Leafs win, Sens go home. Don't you love it?

So now it's on to Philladelphia. Oh, joy. Am I the only one who remembers last year? Oh, well, it's a new year and the results will be different this time.

I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I'd be. I remember that rush I got in 2002 when the Leafs won. I didn't feel that last night. I felt happy, but not ecstatic. Too much going on I guess.

Still Go Leafs Go!

The First Post

I created a blog. It seems everyone else has one, so now I've joined the bandwagon.

My thoughts are pretty dark these days. I think about my dad a lot, of course. Sometimes I don't think about him for several hours, then I feel guilty, which I know is stupid.

Bruins lost last night. They're out. They blew a 3-1 series lead. My dad would have been disgusted. I could see him in my mind, hear him. He's still so clear. It's like he just stepped out for a moment, but it's been almost two months.

Going out with Mom, Diann, and Tonya on Friday. Then Tonya and I are going to the fishing party. I don't want to, but everyone else thinks I should. So I'll put in an appearance and leave. That should be enough to keep people from bugging me.

Leafs play tonight. Game 7. I hate game sevens, they make me tense. I really hope they win. It'll suck if they lose.

Can't think of anything else. I think this is a good enough first post.

Later,
Michelle