Ech!

So Mom and I went to the Ex yesterday, we had a lot of fun, except the end of the day sucked. I lost my backpack. My Sailor Moon one, that I'm really fond of.

Now, I know it's just a backpack and I'm lucky there was nothing of value in it (just a book and a bathing suit), but that backpack meant a lot to me. I got it at the first Anime North and I've brought it with me to every one since, plus on countless other excursions. Phil once had to rescue it from a locked room. I know it's only a thing, but it was special.

I guess I'm a little upset at implications that I shouldn't take it that seriously and that I should just get another one next year. I don't want another one, I want mine. I want the one that's been there for the last four years of my life... Is that too much to ask? I mean, I know it's just a thing and given everythng else I've lost this year, you'd think that a backpack wouldn't matter much on the grand scale of things, but... It's just one more stupid thing and it's not fair.

I bawled when I lost it, I cried the entire way home. As I said, it meant a lot to me. I loved that bag. Still, it is strange that I can cry over the little things, but that it took so long for the tears to come over the big things and whenever they do, thye don't last long. Maybe, I cry over the smaller things, because I'm afriad if I let myself cry over the big things I'll never stop.

I'm also a little upset that no one seems to care that to me this is a big deal, even if it is just a bag. It's not like anyone died, but Hell I already had that happen this year...

But I'm much more upset at the implication that I had it coming. Tara's comment on the froth that she wasn't surprised and that I should be more careful with my things. I resent that, because while I'm scatterbrained, I am careful with my things. I'll point out that this is the first time I've ever lost a purse/wallet/bag, more than can be said of other members of the group. It was late, I was tired, I set my bag down and simply forgot about it until it was too late. I'll admit it was stupid, but she didn't have to act like I had it coming. I hate being treated like I'm a scatterbrained ditz, I'm not. I might have been once, but I grew up/

I have to admit I'm in a really pissy mood. My wonderful mother/daughter bonding day ended on a sour note, my day at work sucked, I have a lot of stuff on my mind, and Tara's lovely comments didn't help my mood at all.

I just want the world to go away.