Five Months

Yesterday, or rather Wednesday, was five months. And I didn't even realize it until afterwards, I was so caught up in my own drama.

It's weird for five months, my father's been all I've thought about. I mean I've managed to live my life, but never more than a few hours passed without me thinking about him. These last few days, I've barely thought about him.

It feels kind of wrong. Yet, I know it's natural. Maybe I'm moving on, or maybe I'm just so caught up in what's going on in my life, that I haven't had the time to think about anything else. Perfectly natural. Life is going on.

I have no idea what I want or where things stand. Or anything. I'm so confused. I've never been particularly good at this and guys suck at giving proper signals. I can never tell what they're thinking.

Oh, well, I guess I'll figure it out. At some point.

As for the other thing, maybe it's natural. Forgetting for a moment, doesn't mean I've forgotten about him or that the pain's gone away, it just means that I'm learning to accept it and I'm living my life again. That sounds like a good thing. It's what he would want.