Homesick

I feel so homesick write now. I just miss my mom so much and talking to her on the phone isn't enough. I don't miss Castleton, not really, but I miss my familiar surroundings. I miss my mom and Taela and my kitty cats and my Aunt Linda.

I had a life in Castleton and I'll admit it, I hated it most days. THe town is small and suffocating and my life there was incredibly dull. However, it was home. It was where I came from and where I belonged and it was incredibly comforting.

I mean, I'm still with family and I see my friends all the time, but it's not the same. Maybe I'm over-attached to my mother, but she's all I've got and I draw a lot of strength from her and I just feel so lost and alone.

A part of me wants to go back home and go abck to my life there. But, I know I can't. I have to ride it out and wait until it gets easier. I have to live my own life and I can't cling to the familiar, no matter how tempting it might be.

Still, I realyl do miss my mom and talking to her tonight just made it worse. I just really wanted her to hug me and make it all better, but she couldn't. Lisa gave me a big hug, though, and that helped.

Of course, it's not just missing my mom. I miss my dad a lot too. The lonlier and more homesick i get, the worse it is. I can talk to Mama on the phone and I'll see her in a week or so, but I can't do either of those things with Daddy.

I'm also at a crossroads at my life. I'm not sure school's right for me right now, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing what I'm doing right now either. I don't have an apartment and a lot of things in my personal life are in the air. A lot of my relationships seem to be on shaky ground adn that's scary, because I draw a lot of my strenght from my friends.

ANyway, I'm just kind of at a low point right now. I'm sure it'll get better, but it's still really hard.

What's New In Michelle-land?

It's been a while since I've really posted on here as I've had a few people point out to me.

Let's see, my commute is killing me. Going to and from Oshawa every day is not convient. Not even slightly. I desperately need to find a place in Toronto ASAP.

Other than that, I've been working. I have a job in Toronto now, which is good. Same thing as I was doing before, just in Toronto and for more money, so always good.

Um, been hanging out with Meg a fair bit. Her birthday's next week, so that will be cool. Been getting to see more of everyone, whihc is awesome and was kinda the point of moving to Toronto.

Bought Veronica Mars on DVD. Intend to convince most of the people I know to watch at least some of the episdoes with me. I love this show and I want to spread the love, because it's amazing and everyone should watch it.

Other than that, not a lot. Commuting is taking a lot out of me, so I don't have a ton of time. Hoping to change that soon. I work 2-10 starting tomorrow adn that'll kinda suck, because I won't get home 'til late, joy.

Not sure waht else to say. More later.

MSN Confusion

So, as some of you know, yesterday I had a slight issue with MSN. Or rather, it had an issue with me.

I don't know the full story, just parts of it. I do know that I was on MSN at home and it kept logging me out and saying I had signed in somewhere else. Which was a little strange, until I realized I must have set the computer at work to 'automatic' somehow.

However, this morning, I find out from Meg, that apparently someone was using my MSN and pretending to be me. Not good. So if you talked to me on MSN yesterday, it might not have been me.

Anyway, I think I've learnt my lesson about logging in on strange computers and I did manage to get my idenity off this computer. I hope.

Bad Qualities

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my bad qualities. Yes, I have a few. More than a few actually, since I am only human. But I've been thinking about which ones are my worst.

It's very simple. I talk too much. In fact, I don't know how to shut up. In more than one way. I babble to the point of irritation (and beyond), I'm a bit (probably more than a bit) of a gossip, and I tend to talk during movies and tv shows, often spoiling them for other people.

I also have this great tendancy for saying exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. I just open my mouth and the words come out before I can stop them and it's not alway pretty.

See, I'm aware of my faults. I'm just not sure how to fix them. I like to talk and I hate silence, thus why I fill it with whatever words I can come up with. I need to talk, it's just who I am.

I know a lot of people, even my nearest and dearest, find this habit truly irritating. And that it's a quality that turns a lot of people off about me. And I would like to change it, but I don't know how? I am incapable of staying silent.

While, I think that's my worst quality there are plenty of other bad qualities as well. I'm bossy, stubborn, I have to get my own way and I tend to try and control everything. I flirt a bit too much and maybe act a little too ditzy at times. I'm spoiled and self-absorbed. I'm a slob and punctuality is not my friend.

I'm sure there are others, as well. And I need to work on all of them, but I do think the talking too much is the one I have to fix first. I would defitly call it my worst quality.

What do you guys think? The ones that know me. What's my worst trait and how do I fix it? Just name one each, because well, I am only human and who wants to hear too many bad things about themselves? That said, be honest. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know.

Hockey's Back

So Hockey's finally back!

I was fairly indifferent coming into the season, (well, in comparison to how I was before the lockout) until last night. As soon as I was watching that game, well, it all came back to me. How much I love that game and how much I really missed it.

It was a good game. Of course, the Leafs lost, but I still think they played well and they got a point out of it. Eric Lindros scored (which was very exciting) and all in all I enjoyed the game. Even if I was tense the entire time.

Of course, this is where I point out that I loathe the shootout. I've never liked it and never will and I was part of the apparent minority who thought it had no place in the NHL. Last night did not change that (obviously).

Nor did it change the fact that I also loathe Daniel Alfredson (as a player, not a person--since, obviously I've never met him and thus don't have a personal opinin). He definitely ranks as my least favourite player in the NHL at the moment and probably will for some time to come.

Still, I enjoyed watching the game. I'd almost forgotten the joy I get from sitting back, curling up and watching my beloved Maple Leafs. Go Leafs Go!

Besides, the fact that hockey's finally back, there' not much else going on in my life. I'm working and I've got killer hours, because of my commute, I'm having like 13 or 14 hour days. It's not a lot of fun.

Thanksgiving's this weekend and I'm going home, of course. Dinner with the family and so on. Might see if everyone wants to hang at sometime. Of course, it's also the return of Hockey Night in Canda Saterday night, so that will have to be worked out. I am not missing HNiC--I've missed Cherry too much to skip it!

That's all, I can think of for now. Not sure what else to say except: Go Leafs Go!