Feeling Lost

My net's back up and it's all sorted out, thankfully. No net sucks.

So, school's going fairly well. So far I'm keeping my head afloat. I got an 83% on the first assignment I got back and more importantly 2.5 out of the possible 3% of my final grade. It's only 3%, but it all adds up, right?

I am struggling with a Sociology assignment, but I think I always knew that Psych and Soc were going to be my tough subjects. In comparison, I find Literature and Philosophy pretty easy, though the tend to be the subjects with the toughest work load. I think it's the writer in me or maybe just that I like those subjects, so I do better in them.

Other than that... I don't really feel adjusted to life in Peterborough yet. I'm trying my best, but while school is going okay and I'm making friends and joining activities, I still feel unhappy and lost. I just don't feel like I belong here, but I am making an effort, really I am, since I know I'm here for another seven months...

Besides that, I'm just in a low funk. I've been getting some great writing out of it, but it's leaving me feeling kind of lost and alone, which I know isn't true. But I just, I get in those moods and it's hard to get out of them. Being here, away from everything, isn't helping and neither is the stress of school and everything else.

I feel cut off from my friends, which is silly I know, but I guess I just fear that by the end of this year I'm not going to have my friends. That the distance and me being me is going to drive them away. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't help it. I have ridiculous thoughts, it part of who I am.

Then there's the fact that long distance relationships are hard. I hate only having short, infrequent visits and short talks at night via Skype. But I knew going into it would be hard and I'm trying hard not to get wrapped up in it. I can't let it distract me from school and really it's not, it's because I'm already distracted and unhappy that I'm focusing on this as the reason. The truth is, I'm 99% certain I'd be feeling this way without Mark in the picture, it just doesn't make it easier. But, on the other hand, I'm so glad he's in the picture and he makes most things better, I just miss him.

Still, I'll pull myself out of it and I'll make a go of this year. At least, I'm off to a good start. I'm doing okay academically, I'm staying ahead of the work, I'm making friends and I'm joining things. I'll start to feel a little less alienated and more at home here in Peterborough, I'm sure. I have to, right?