The Guy of My Dreams

The Leafs lost. So now they're out and it's over. It was heartbreaking. It's always heartbreaking. The problem with being a Leaf fan, I guess.

Oh, well, there's always next year.

Spending a lot of time with my thoughts lately. I still can't write anything of substance, so I've been doing a lot of thinking instead.

I've been thinking a lot about the 'perfect guy' or at least my dream guy. I mean I have the list of rules, but what do I really want? Besides the superficial (the whole height thing) things and the boundaries, what criteria do I have?

I've thought about it. I'd like someone nice and smart. Someone I could talk to. I mean, it would be a bonus if he was cute, but I'd rather have someone who really understood me, who I could have long talks with and share my feelings. Someone who could make me laugh and who make me feel better when I was down.

I'm not so much searching for the perfect guy, as for the right one. One who makes me feel special. I guess I'm lonely. Or maybe just ready. I've done the alone thing, I've learnt lots about myself, now I'd like to be part of something. I'd like to be with someone.

If only it was that easy, though. I mean first I have to find that person and I probably have to overcome my own personality. I'm insecure, I'm selfish, I'm spoiled and I don't let people get close. So, there's the number one criteria for the perfect guy, someone who can past all that. Who can see past the image I reflect and see the real me, the one I hide from the world. Someone who could do that and still want to be with me.

I wonder if I'll ever find him. I hope so.