Misha's Strange Wonderings

My strange and often bizzare thoughts.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

No NaNo

This year I decided to try NaNo, because I'd been interested for a while. The challenge of writing 50,000 words in a month is a good one. Especially since one of the things with NaNo is to turn off the self-editor (one of my biggest problems) and just write.

Unforunately, I'm having to admit defeat. Three weeks into NaNo, I've written just over 11,000 words. Not bad, but quite short of the overall goal. It's just bad timing, there's too much else going on in my life right now to really be able to sit down and write.

Also, I basically plucked an idea out of nowhere since one of the rules of NaNo is that it has to be something fresh and while it sorta intruigued me at the beginning, it's not something I'm really interested in writing. Which is a problem. If I'm not interested in what I'm writing, then I can't write it. It's that simple.

So, NaNo is a really interesting idea and I'll definitly try again next year, but this year it just isn't feasible. I have too much on my plate with school and not enough motiviation. Oh, well, at least I tried right?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Taking A Deep Breathe

First of all, I'm sorry for the depressing post the other day, it was just one of those days. Things just overwhelmed me and I was sad and it all came bursting out. I'm better now, though.

I have a plan for what happens next, living situation-wise, some leads that I intend on following. Right now I'm just figuring it out in my head, putting out feelers and trying to come up with a good plan. I'll work something out, I know it, I just want to be cautious.

School's school. I'm doing pretty good. Most of my classes have returned at least 30% of the course work, so I'm starting to get a pretty good idea of where I stand. It's only in Lit and Critical Aware Thinking that I don't have a good picture yet, but I'm pretty confident in those two courses.

I got 76% on the Philosophy essay which was worth 35% of my final mark, which I'm pretty happy with since I found it a difficult essay. I don't find the course particularly hard, because I can grasp what other people are saying, but I do ahve difficulty coming up with my own philosophical thoughts. I also got 77% on my last Sociology assignment, which was a big deal to me because of all my subjects, Sociology is the one where I'm struggling the most. I just don't get it most of the time, but I'm doing my best and this mark was an improvement over the last one (where I got 70%), so I'm doing something right...

Five more weeks left to the semester and then I'm done. I just have to keep remembering that.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

200th Post

First, I'd like to say that this is the 200th post on this blog! That's pretty impressive, right? That I've actually come up with 200 things to babble about... So, I'll be moving in the new year. My living situation has become very tense and it has been agreed that I will find a new place to live. Sigh. However, I have been looking into my options and put out a few feelers, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Of course, since this is me--I don't know. I get paranoid over little things and when things start to go good, well that's when they're about to go bad, right? I blow things out of proportion in my mind and start obsessing over them, to the point where all I can do is focus on how everything is about to go wrong.

Maybe it's because I'm basically an insecure person deep down, no matter how I try to hide it. I truly believe that in the end I'm going to screw things up, friendships, relationships, school and I spend most of my time trying to fight those beliefs because I know it's self destructive. I am my own worst enemy.

The worst part is with the people in my life, I won't ask them about it. If they act differently or if I get a weird feeling from them, I'll obsess about it for weeks, but I will never broach the subject with them. I'm too afraid they're going to say that they hate me.

I'm having one of those days. I'm sitting in the lab, because I have no where else to go, crying my eyes out. I can't go back to my apartment, because it'll just make things worse. I called my mom and she just made me feel worse. I just feel kind of unhappy about my situation as a whole, but I am being rescued. My friend Tim came and got me. I have good friends—probably part of why, I’m afraid to voice my feelings, because without them I’d be lost and I don’t want to do anything to drive them away.

Anyway, this has been a pretty depressing 200th post. Oops, but if you’re reading this, then you’re probably used to it.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Weekend Update

I'm writing this from Meg and Phil's place, since I can't sleep any later. I swear it's a school thing, my body is now being programmed to be up early even when it doesn't have to be and when I probably really could use the sleep, since it's something that's in short supply.

Friday night Mark, Phil, Meg and I watched "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang" and then hung out for a while, for which Lucas joined us for a little bit. Then, last night Tara, Meg, and I had a girls night which was fun. We had pasta and drank some wine and talked and watched a movie. It was nice. Fun hanging out with my girlfriends for a while, with no men around.

Today, I'm spending time with Mark (yay!), before I head back to Peterborough. So, that'll be nice. This has been a very low-key weekend, but that's nice. Just hanging out with my boyfriend and my friends make for a great weekend, no matter what's being done, and I've been in a stay-in kind of mood lately, probably the pressures of school and all that.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Name...

http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp

You entered: Michelle Elizabeth McKague

There are 24 letters in your name.
Those 24 letters total to 108
There are 10 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 3

A Soul Urge number of 3 means:
With the Soul Urge number 3 your desire in life is personal expression, and generally enjoying life to its fullest. You want to participate in an active social life and enjoy a large circle of friends. You want to be in the limelight, expressing your artistic or intellectual talents. Word skills may be your thing; speaking, writing, acting, singing. In a positive sense, the 3 energy is friendly, outgoing and always very social.

You have a decidedly upbeat attitude that is rarely discouraged; a good mental and emotional balance.

The 3 Soul Urge gives intuitive insight, thus, very high creative and inspirational tendencies. The truly outstanding trait shown by the 3 Soul Urge is that of self-expression, regardless of the field of endeavor.

On the negative side, you may at times become too easygoing and too optimistic, tending to scatter forces and accomplish very little. Often, the excessive 3 energy produces non-stop talkers. Everyone has faults, but the 3 soul urge doesn't appreciate having these pointed out.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.


A lot of that is actually scarily accurate. The birthdate thing was just fun, but this is kinda scary. Especially the part about the non-stop talking as a fault.

Birthday Calculator

From: http://www.paulsadowski.com/BirthData.asp

Your date of conception was on or about 2 November 1982 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Leo.
Your Life path number is 9.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445541.5.
The golden number for 1983 is 8.
The epact number for 1983 is 16.
The year 1983 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/13/1983 and ending 2/1/1984.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Pig.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Salmon; your plant is Raspberry.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 17 Av 5743.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 18 Av 5743.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.10.2.17 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 10 tun 2 uinal 17 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 15 Shavval 1403 (1403-10-15).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1983.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 8 May 1983.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 16 February 1983.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1983.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1983.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 8 September 1983.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 29 March 1983.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 15 February 1983.

As of 11/8/2006 11:24:43 PM EST
You are 23 years old.
You are 280 months old.
You are 1,215 weeks old.
You are 8,506 days old.
You are 204,167 hours old.
You are 12,250,044 minutes old.
You are 735,002,683 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Kate Beckinsale (1973)Sandra Bullock (1964)Kevin Spacey (1959)
Dorothy Hamill (1956)Roger Taylor (1949)Helen Mirren (1946)
Mick Jagger (1943)Stanley Kubrick (1928)Blake Edwards (1922)
Jason Robards, Jr. (1922)Vivian Vance (1912)Gracie Allen (1902)
Aldous Huxley (1894)Carl Jung (1875)George Bernard Shaw (1856)

Top songs of 1983
Every Breath You Take by PoliceBillie Jean by Michael Jackson
Flashdance by Irene CaraSay Say Say by Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson
All Night Long by Lionel RichieTotal Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
Down Under by Men at WorkBeat It by Michael Jackson
Islands In the Stream by Kenny Rogers & Dolly PartonBaby, Come to Me by Patti Austin & James Ingram

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.32915851272016 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

There are 260 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 24 candles.

Those 24 candles produce 24 BTUs,
or 6,048 calories of heat (that's only 6.0480 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.74 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1983 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1983 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1983 in the US there were 2,444,000 marriages (10.5%) and 1,179,000 divorces (5%)
In 1983 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1983 the population of Australia was approximately 15,483,496.
In 1983 there were approximately 242,570 births in Australia.
In 1983 in Australia there were approximately 114,860 marriages and 43,525 divorces.
In 1983 in Australia there were approximately 110,084 deaths.


Your birthstone is Ruby

The Mystical properties of Ruby

Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Carnelian

Your birth tree is
Cypress, the Faithfulness

Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy,content,optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,unruly, pedantic and careless.


There are 47 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 60 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning gibbous.

Just to amuse myself, I calculated the the life path numbers of 16 of the people closest to me. I only got three 3,6, or 9s (my best matches) and this didn't include either of my parents, my two best friends, or my boyfriend, though it did include my favourite aunt. The next best numbers were 1&5 and I got four of those (including both my best friends). The so-so numbers of 2,7,&11 had three (including my boyfriend). That leaves six people in the terrible numbers of 4,8,&22, including both my parents. The numbering was just for one, but it amazed me that a lot of the combinations were so low since the people I calculated are all very importnat in my life. But, oh, well, it was just for fun anyway, right?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Wonderful Weekend

So, I had like the best weekend. Mark came down to Castleton on Saterday afternoon and we just spent the weekend together, doing little things, which was amazing.

The problem with a long distance relaitonship is that you don't really get the time to do the little things, like just spend time together. This weekend we got that chance, we were able to watch TV and cook dinner and just enjoy being together and it was nice. I even made a point not to brood about having to say goodbye (something I do too often when we're together, I let the inevitable cast a shadow on the present).

But this weekend, I just enjoyed my man and just being with him. I also introduced him to a few people, which was good and it seemed to go well. I figure I'll slowly introduce him to all the people in my life, since there tends to be quite a lot.

I'm back in Peterborough now, back to my daily grind. School's going well and I do have a life here, that's slowly coming along, but I still have hard days when it feels like I'm going to be here forever. But it's only six months, right, and then I'm one step closer to the rest of my life...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

New Friends and Reading Week

So, I'm finally starting to make friends at Fleming and real friends, not just hang out at school and talk a bit during class kind of friends, but the kind I can go out and do things with or just talk to for hours. So far, it seems pretty good.

Two of the people in my class, Tim and Sarah, and I have just really hit it off. We've hung out a few times and it was a lot of fun. Turns out we have a lot in common and it lead to quite the enjoyable time.

I need that, people here that I can just have fun with the way I do with my other friends. I'm a social person and I need interaction. So I'm really glad I'm making good friends. It is funny how much Tim and Sarah are like my other friends. I always kind of thought that my choice of friends was more of a fluke, but apparently not. Apparently, I am drawn to a certain type of person. Interesting.

Back in Peterborough, after Reading Week. School's well, school. Been a busy week, handed in three assignments and had one test (with another one tomorrow). Hopefully, I've done well on everything (I think I have).

Reading Week was fun. Went to Brantford, then to Toronto where Meg held a Halloween party (which was a blast). I got both family and friend time in, which is good. Though, it wasn't entirely a vacation since my homework came with me (boo!)

Going back to Castleton for the weekend tomorrow, which will be nice. I haven't been home in a few weeks and I miss everyone (especially my kittys).