Feeling Unwanted and Unloved

I've noticed that when people hurt my feelings, I rarely tell them, I just hide it and stew later. If I get angry I'll say something, but not when I'm hurt. I'll tell other people, I'll cry, but won't tell the person who hurt me.

And the weird thing is I'd say I'm not a person who lets their feelings get hurt a lot. I know there are people who don't like me and I'm okay with that. I've survived having less than pleasant things being said behind my back. But lately my feelings have been tender a lot, mainly from the feeling that to some of the people in my life I'm expendable.

Maybe that's a little harsh and I'd like to say that was certianly not meant to be directed at all my friends. Some of them have been as wonderful as always. Meg, for example, no matter how far away she is, I always know that she's there for me and that things are as awesme as ever. There are several other people like that, but there are also a few who I feel are very distant from me these days.

I'm not sure if it's intentional or if it's time constraints, but I do know I feel out of place with the friends in question. Like I'm suddenly on the sidelines of their lives. I'm not sure if it's intentional or if these people even notice, but I just feel like the friendships are fading and I don't like that.

But I don't know what to do about it. Excpet I should probably tell these people how I feel. But I'm not really great with confrontation or with telling people how I really feel. That's why I have this and I'll freely admit I've been guilty of writing what I feel down here, instead of actually talking to people. Oops.

Anyway, I'm still feeling a little low and unwanted, but I'm sure it will pass. I'm going to go do something with my mother and we'll have fun. We usually do. And maybe I'll actually start telling people how I really feel. Maybe.