Two Years

So, todays mark the second anniversary of the worst day of my life.

I survived it, just like I've survived these last two years. Two years, it doesn't even seem real that two entire years have passed.

I thought about the significance of the date a lot today and I thought about him, of course. I don't go through a day when I don't think about him. Yet, really this was just another day, even if it stands as a marker for the worst day of my life.

I know I'll always hurt on this day, probably always remember what it means and think of him, but right now I still hurt every day and this day, weirdly enough was no worse than any of the others.

Maybe because I padded myself--I knew it would suck and I was prepared for that fact. I've noticed in the past that if I'm prepared for it to hurt, it hurts a little less than I thought I world or than it does if I don't think it's going to hurt. Probably because when I know it hurts, I numb myself.

Today, Taela was with me and we hung out, drank some wine, made plans for things we're going to do in the future and we talked about him, of course, shared stories and memories and laughter. Which is nice, it's the proper way to remember him, I believe.