Times of Transition

I'm writing this from Toronto. I'm at Meg's right now and our traditional birthday/Halloween visit is just getting under way.

I'm in a strange, kind of angsty mood right now. Not that odd given my moods have been darker than usual this past year. But this isn't the usual angst, it's more about me than about my father. I just have some feelings of discontent, plus some other stuff which I'm confident will leave me in a few days.

The froth pit is gone. Tara deleted it. I, personally, was sad to see it go. Especially since I never got a chance to save any of the posts. I would have liked a personal archive, but what can you do? Out with the old, in with the new right?

I pierced my belly-button. Right now it's all red and swollen, but I'm sure in a few days it'll look awesome. I wasn't a fan of the pain though and am now convinced that body piercings aren't for me.

I needed to make some sort of change. A physical parting from the me that I am and the person I want to be. I have a lot of emotional changes I have to make and a few conversations I have to have with people before I get my life to the place I want it to be. I'm still working on it.

My family needs me these days. There's been a lot of death and illness this year. I'm starting to dread the sound of the telephone, as odd as that might sound for me. It's not been a great year.

I keep thinking of this time as a transition. Between my old life and the new one I will forge for myself. The emotional changes, the physical, the ones in my personal relationships, they're all steps towards my ultimate goal. I don't know when the transition will end, sooner than later I hope.

I think I'm finally ready for my new life. A few months ago, I wasn't. I was still clinging to the life I can't have back. I realize now that it's pointless. I can't have the life I had on February 20th and I don't want the life I have at this moment, so I just have to start working towards the life I do want.

First though, I'm just going to enjoy my weekend with Meg. I miss her so much since I see her so rarely. Besides, I love being in the city.

On a last, happy note. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series. After 86 years, the curse of the bambino is kaput. Didn't I say change was in the air?