Torn

I just feel so muddled these days--torn in so many directions. I have so much stuff piled upon me and it's making my head spin. I'm trying to be what everyone needs me to be--a good loyal friend, a loving niece, a devoted daughter and granddaughter. But it's so hard, I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions and everyone wants my absoloute loyalty.

Mom wants me to stay here indefinitately for her, even though I'm suffocating here. Grandpa just keeps reminding me of my 'potential' and urges me to do something with it--meaning what he wants me to do. Other relatives have laid their own guilt trips on me, reminding me of where I'm needed--even if it's not where I need to be.

On the other hand, my friends have so much chaos going on in their personal relationships and I do feel caught up in it all. I'm hearing so many different things I don't know what to believe and what not to believe. I don't want to side with anyone at least not to the point of cutting off someone else. Is that so wrong?

I just wish things could be simple for just a little while. You know that everyone could get along and be nice to each other. Would that be too much to ask?

It just feels like I'm drowning and that's there's nothing to grab onto.