All I Want Is Space

After a break-up, I think it's pretty natural to want some space. I don't really want to see the person I was dating or even really interact with them, until I've calmed down and moved on. I think that's pretty reasonable.

Apparently not, since I keep getting contacted. He keeps talking to me like it's normal, like nothing happened and it bugs me. I just want some room to breath. I mean, in the end, I don't really hold any hard feelings and I think we'll be able to be friends again. But not today.

I mean, I want a little bit of time. Is that too much to ask? I just want to stop being angry and move on. I don't think it'll take that long. Maybe a couple weeks. But I think it'll take longer if he keeps being in my space.

Maybe I should do as Taela advises and just tell him to go fuck himself, but I'm too nice. Besides, then he'll think he had more of an impact on my emotions than he really did. So that's not an option. Also, I don't think cutting him out of my life entirely is an option.

His father was one of my father's best friends. I adore Roger and he's a good friend of my mom's. We also share common friends and go to the same parties. No, I just can't pretend he never existed. Well, I could, but...

I think this a valuable lesson as to why you don't date friends. It's just to messy afterwards. I mean, normally you can just go run and hide and try to forget about the person for at least a while. I don't have the option this time. He's in my life, whether I want him to be or not.

I just have to be mature I guess and deal with it. I chose to date him and now I have to deal with the fallout. Like having to socialize with him and all that. Oh, well, I'm a big girl I can handle it. Tomorrow night I'll go to Jesse's and I'll act as normally as possible. Which is pretty good damage control actually, since I don't want everyone to pity me.

Weirdly enough, that was the thing that bothered me the most about this whole thing. Having to face everyone with the knowledge that he broke up with me. However, I guess it can't be avoided, right?

However, all of this is making my "rules" seem better than ever, no matter what my friends might think about them. I wrote the "rules" ages ago and I have a tendancy to break them. However, this last relationship, which broke three of the rules, made me think at least some of the rules were there for a reason.

The Rules:

1. Cannot be younger.
I've broken this rule, though maybe I shouldn't. It's really just a preference thing. I really do prefer my guys older, have only dated one younger guy and we all know that worked out...

2. Cannot be shorter.
The unbreakable rule. I will not date anyone shorter than me, because I simply couldn't find a short guy physically attractive. Height is a big deal for me.

3. Cannot have slept with anyone that I know.
Needless to say, this is a very important rule.

4. Cannot have been my friend for more than a year, or someone I've known for more than three.
I've broken this one, but it gets messy. My whole theory when I made the rule was that after that amount of time if there was no spark, there'll never be a spark. My theory now is that even if there is a spark, it's better off to ignroe it, it's just too complicated.

5. Can't be from Castleton.
This was orignally 'cause Castleton guys are kind of skeevy. Hell, Taela and I can recite off about 25 reasons why we don't date Castleton guys (though we usually only do this when we're drinking). However, recent exprience has made me decide to elaborate. It's goes with rule 4, most of the guys in this town I've known forever and there a part of my life, whether or not I want them to be.

6. Can't be a virgin or have only been with one girl (have to be third).
Well, I don't bring a lot of experience to the table, so someone should.

7. Can't have been in jail.
I think that one's pretty self-explanatory.

8. Can't have more than five tatoos and piericings (or more than three tatoos)
I mean I can handle a couple tatoors or piercings, but more than that is kind of gross.

9. Has to be single and not on the rebound.
Again pretty self-explanatory.

There you have it, "my rules". They might be a little unreasonable, but their basically just a guideline of what I'm looking for and what I'm not looking for. It's not like I won't date someone if they break one of the rules, but I'll stop and think about it, decide if it's worth it.

Maybe it's a little unreasonable, but I mean we all need some sort of romantic guideline to live by, right? I mean, some rules I don't think are that important, others are pretty unbreakble. I mean, I can deal with someone younger, I guess. But I don't think I'll be dating any of my friends anytime soon, it's just too hard.

Which brings me back to the original problem. Is it so unreasonable that I don't really wnat to be friends with someone I dated? Even if we were friends in the first place? I mean, I'm not talking forever, just right now. I just want some space, is that so unreasonable?